US Open 2010 Fashion Grades (Women)

The ladies have always gotten to do more then the men with their kits, but the women I know who hit balls want to look good.

Stella McCartney has finally hit the spot with Sunshine by actually designing something that fits her body. The shorter dress accentuates her legs, and the simpler lines complement her figure. And they actually depart from monochrome.

Grade: A

Shrieka's dresses continue to accent her skinny figure. I don't think the collars work. But kudos for Nike for the colors: retro with anthracite and rattan.

Grade: A-

The night dress is a variation of the day dress but ink with black and solar flare. This color combination doesn't provide enough contrast to be as interesting as the day dress. Can't you tell that underneath all that fierceness is a real goofball?

Grade: B+

Since ReeRee is injured, Vika gets to wear the dress that ReeRee would have worn. Nike seems not to care whether or not Vika wears the "night" dress during the day. Since she fainted in the middle of her second round match and had to be taken off in a wheel chair, one wonders whether she should have worn the day dress. The poor thing must be disappointed after having a great summer.

Grade: A-



It's a pity that we won't get to see the day dress on someone live.

Grade: A-

Good Nails was around for one set, crushing returns; and then Bad Nails showed up to spray balls in the last two sets of her first rounder. We won't get to see her functional kit long enough.

Grade: B

Adidas has taken a step up by allowing Ms. Fistpumps to use 4 colors: white, black, purple and pink.

Grade: B

Adidas steps out on a limb and puts Courage in purple. It actually works better on the ladies than their attempt to do so with Nando earlier this year.

Grade: B

Anta must think Lady JaJa secretly wants to wear an Adidas kit. It's a pity that it's been so hot and humid that she can't look glamorous sweating up a storm.

Grade: B

Vee continues to blur the line between a nightie and a tennis dress with her shiny black lace dress. At least she isn't flashing flesh-colored knickers.

Grade: B+

Vee goes unconventional with her day kit: it looks perfect for going to the beach. Just for creativity

Grade: A-

Sam's LaCoste whites are professional as the Hammer should be.

Grade: B+

The purple version of the same kit works even better. See how hard it is to tweak a design.

Grade: A-

Is Mum Train's Fila kit camouflauge? The diagonal stripes against the blue work.

Grade: A-

US Open 2010 Fashion Grades (Men)

The US Open's liberal dress code with its night matches set in fashionable Gotham has given wide parameters for what can be worn on court. New Yorkers know their style, and the sponsors for the pros have got to raise the bar. With matches at night for the top seeds and grueling day matches in humid heat, this means some folks have a night kit and a day kit. So here come fashion grades which are below their respective pictures.

Fed's night kit stays conservative: navy blue with button placket and white trim on the collar. The only major change (gasp) is that his logo is on the chest and the swoosh is on the sleeves. See his day kit below.

Grade: B+

Just another day at the office for TMF with a "football blue" polo and khaki shorts. The polo is a lighter blue version of his night polo. It certainly suits the middle-age set of men who play tennis on weekends to relive their youth.

Grade: A-

Rafa, could you ever see your Swiss friend wearing neon yellow? True story: I've already seen one of the regulars at my local tennis courts wear this. We all had to put on sunglasses.

Grade: B-

The Rafinator has decided to copy the Sith Lord look pioneered by his BFF. With the damage he's been doing this year, it works. Watch out for Darth Nadal!

Grade: A

Djoker survived a meltdown in his first round. His kit is two-sided as his personality: on the one hand, his Sergio Tacchini is classic a la McEnroe; on the other hand, the dragon print really suits his fiery personality. You cannot be serious if you think he is fit enough to actually make it to the finals.

Grade: B

ARod has switched kits from his tri-colored collar. His day polo is white with checkered piping. Yeah, I know tennis clothes and whites are a natural, but it's the New York, where white ain't mandatory. Show some creativity, LaCoste.

Grade: B

ARod's night polo is ... uh ... blue with white checkers. Not bad. It matches his racquet. I'm sure your fans felt the way you did watching Tipsy hit you off the court in that.

Grade: B

For Adidas creativity means using three colors instead of two: purple, navy blue and white on Nando.

Grade: B

In the case of Muzz, creativity means removing the neon yellow from the polo he wore in Oz. His polo is as bright and cheery as he.

Grade: B

Wimbledon 2010: Fashion Grades (Gentlemen)

The gentlemen, as usual, have less room for improvisation.

After last year's blingey kit, His Royal Goatness promised that this year's kit would follow the theme: "Less is More". For his warm up kit, he showed up in a mock turtleneck.

And then he narrowly avoided the curse of the tuxedo in his 1st round comeback against Falla.

Kudos to Nike for coming up with a kit that won't make a club player feel like a total wannabee (just a partial one).

Grade: A

The Mallorcan Matador usually tones down his florid kits for SW19. The only hint of color is the hot pink for the swoosh and the neck line. Surely the all-white rules of the AEC are more permissive, no?

Grade: B+

ARod has returned to the tri-colored polo in which he won Miami

While Lacoste is a fairly small fish compared to Nike and Adidas, it's a shame that with its heritage, it can't do more.

Grade: B+

Big Berd's swan-like polo is way too basic. His checkered Back Spin polo (white w/flat pewter) from Roland Garros would have worked better.

Grade: B-

The Djoker cannot be serious with his Sergio Tacchini kit with green piping. I don't think it fits his personality. ST has a white polo with a bold red stripe across that would have bought back the ghost of JMac.

Grade: B+

Despite his new Dunlop contract, Play Station still looks like he rolled out of bed, and has painted his old Prince sticks.

Grade: C

Le Monf's skin is the only color or texture in this sleveless KSwiss kit.

Grade: B-

For his compatriot Ali, why doesn't Adidas prohibit color photos of their player?

Grade: B-

Adidas chooses to obfuscate the pink line under the arms of Britain's hopes for a Slam winner. I'm not sure whether Muzz's pressers bore me more than his kit.

Grade: B-

Wimbledon 2010: Fashion Grades (Ladies)

Wimbledon's "almost entirely white" dress code has given fairly narrow parameters for what can be worn on court. But as any artiste will tell you, narrow parameters ought to be an outlet for creativity. Ask any haiku poet what can be done with so little space. The sponsors for the pros this year have the opportunity to deck out folks in some interesting kits (with the approval of the All England Club). So here come fashion grades which are below their respective pictures.

Ever since Nike took over the designs for ReeRee's dress ReeRee decided to trust Nike's designers, ReeRee's kits have been excellent. The warmup top definitely departs from the traditional track suit or hoodie. Nor is it like anything the gentlemen's top seed has ever worn: blazer, jacket, or sweater. I'm not sure what to call it but classy it is (courtesy of Doots: it's a bolero).

It's great that her compression shorts offer a wonderful splash of color, which can't be said of the rest of the tour. It matches her laces and the piping on her dress.

Grade: A+

Shrieka, Nike's glamazon, follows the same theme as ReeRee with a cropped blazer.

The folds in her dress offer an elegant touch. Most of her dresses this year have had fairly vibrant colors. For Wimbly, it's all traditional with just white and black.

Grade: A

Nails looks cute as usual, wearing a functional tank and skirt with ruffles.

Grade: B+

Nothing too special about Vika's dress except the ruffling on the shoulder straps.

Grade: B+

Nor is there much special about Mum Train's dress.

Grade: B

When even Bethanie Mattek-Sands tones down her Under Armour dress, you know the ladies mean business.

Only thing unorthodox about Betty is her tats. The tube socks are to be expected from her. The lime green accents on the dress would seem to work well on anyone except her.

Grade: B

For the former Brit #1, Wilson has really stepped up their designs putting a white dress with yellow straps. This complements Anne Keothavong's tan. (Then again, I have a weakness for fist pumping Asian tennis gals with a sense of humor).

Grade: A-

Stella McCartney is the best Adidas can do with Caro. It's the same pattern that's won since Oz with a lace-like patterning but in white. The color actually works with Caro's skin and hair.

Grade: A-

When will Adidas realize that they have a swimsuit model in MaKiri? The red piping is nice on the Barricade tank top but it's time to move her to the more graceful Adilibria line.

Grade: B

Adidas has toned down the patterns in NaturAna's Adilibria dress. Yes, the leggings are part of the line, but they're not required with the dress. You have to squint to find anything beyond a plain white dress with pink contrast piping. Marginally more interesting than the Adidas kits shown so far.

Ok, Adidas needs to hire better designers not reshuffle their athletes around.

Grade: B+

Super Hero's Lacoste white dress can actually be bought (which couldn't be said of her Oz and RG dresses) by you the consumer. As expected, it looks suitably preppy.

Grade: A-

I doubt Nads can pull off the ballet dancer theme.

Grade: C

Although her movement is too gangly to qualify as balletic, Vee certainly has the body to look like a very tall ballet dancer. I like the print on the top of the dress but the fringes inspired by Tina Turner don't fit with the print.

Grade: B+

Now Lady JaJa does resemble a ballet dancer with her diva-ness and her movement. And the dress is the most successful effort.

Grade: A

Roland Garros 2010: Fashion Grades (Women)

Nike's golden gal, Shrieka, is going for a more plain vanilla look with mahogany and grey, and has ditched headgear. This is a definite improvement over her dress in Oz, but it doesn't seem to go all that well with her skin. B




Well, we don't get to see much of Vika's kit as she went out early in an epic collapse to Dulko. The stripes on the dress add a nice accent to the solid Aster Pink. Having the same color for the shoe laces seems overdone. All in all: nice without being boring. A-



I certainly hope we get to see more of Nails through Roland Garros. The Cool Mint color for her crew with a Marina Blue accent complements her skin well. I like the different colors for the layers of her skirt. A




Stella McCartney hasn't changed Caro's kit in 150000 years. F



NaturAna has been sporting the orange Adilibria dress for the clay season. Since the tank top in the same line comes in white and black, why can't Adidas pull off the same colors so that she can wear a different colored dress at RG than for the rest of the clay season? Still this one looks great on her. B+



Dani's Adidas tank comes from the same Adilibria line as NaturAna. The pattern they've added is subtle, and has to be seen up close. Keep it up Adidas, and you can keep up with your competitors from Oregon. A.



Allez Bitch has been wearing the same hot pink Adidas crew since Miami. While she's not exactly a fashion maven, it's really not too hard to change the color of one of her two pieces. Why not a white skirt with a pink top? Or a white crew with a pink skirt? B-



Lady Jaja appears to be donning a yellow version of the Anta dress she's been wearing all year. The skirt ruffles add a nice touch to an otherwise boring dress. B




The Marina Blue accented by Electric Green on ReeRee's dress could go well on a lot of different skins. Nike did a great job with the matching bandanna for her. A



Vee's black lace dress pushes the envelope, and prompted cat calls in the stadium. Sexy? Yes. Would any club player be caught dead wearing this on court? Probably not. Call me strait-laced, but I'd rather see this in the bedroom but not on the tennis court. D



In contrast, Sveta dressed like she was going to practice with dark shorts and a hot pink crew. This suits her earthy and tomboyish personality. Props to Fila for departing from the tried-and-true skirt/dress. A