Roland Garros 2011: Women's Champion

Something about winning this tournament makes you do this.



They're building clay courts in China as we speak for lots of little girls. Congratulations Nails!





The woman she beat was only the defending champion. There's something about Franny that just makes you want to smile and hug her.



Absent Henin and the Williams sisters, I think woman's tennis is doing just fine.

Australian Open 2011: 1.3 Billion Folks Cheer

Nails looked like she was going to lose it, as her normally flat strokes just could not get through the running backboard that is Caro the Golden Retriever.

Then she finally clued in, began to spin the ball more, and spread the court more. It turned into a physical match. Guess who was in better shape?

Nails d. Caro 36 75 63

I think Kim is still the favorite, but I don't know anyone who would be delighted if Nails made a Cinderella run and won the whole damn thing. I'll be yelling "Jia You, Nails" during the women's finals.



This post match interview showcases what a goofball she is.

Australian Open 2011: Semifinals Picks

For the women, I'm calling

1. Nails d. Caro because Nails does everything Caro does but better. She just needs to keep her head together, and all signs point to that


2. Kim d. Bepa because Kim can handle the big moments better and batten down the hatches despite a leg strain


3. Your Aussie Open 2011 Women's Single Champion: Nails! Because it would be awesome for 1.3 billion Chinese

1. Mandy d. Ferru: It's a hard court, it's not in England, and Mandy is playing calmer.


2. Fed d. Djoker: The last time the Djoker beat Fed, the Annacone effect hadn't fully taken, and Fed was looking too far ahead to playing Rafa the next day. He won't make that mistake again.


3. Your Aussie Open 2011 Men's Single Champion: Fed for the 17th time! And we'll see the him try to chase The Mighty Babes across Rod Laver Arena, and he'll turn into a blubbering dorkball that we all know that he is

Australian Open 2011: Nails Charges On

Workman like effort from Nails who beat Petko 62 64. Petko never really had any chance as she was constantly on her back foot because of Nails' footwork & movement. She's into the semifinals, and will face the winner between Caro & Franny. She has an excellent chance of winning the whole damn thing. Do it for China!

Sydney 2011: Nails Did It

If you're down Love-5 in the first set after 15 minutes, most tennis players would feel like they're getting owned. Me, I've been tempted to throw in the towel and get at least one game to save my dignity.

Not Nails.

I was 5-0 down & I saw the time...only 15 min. I was like, Yeah, the fans, they pay a lot of money for half hour the match is over. (Smiling.)

She indeed sunk her dragon claws into Kim, and clawed back to win her first Premier-level WTA tournament (76 63). Then again she had done the same to Sveta and Bojangles, so this is nothing new for her.

Doesn't she just glow?



Not entirely sure what turned around the match, but will post an update as soon as I find out more.

UPDATE:

Sydney 2011: Nails on On-Court Coaching

Nails' coach is her husband, and during her presser she was all kind of awesome about her husband's on-court coaching sessions

US Open 2010 Fashion Grades (Women)

The ladies have always gotten to do more then the men with their kits, but the women I know who hit balls want to look good.

Stella McCartney has finally hit the spot with Sunshine by actually designing something that fits her body. The shorter dress accentuates her legs, and the simpler lines complement her figure. And they actually depart from monochrome.

Grade: A

Shrieka's dresses continue to accent her skinny figure. I don't think the collars work. But kudos for Nike for the colors: retro with anthracite and rattan.

Grade: A-

The night dress is a variation of the day dress but ink with black and solar flare. This color combination doesn't provide enough contrast to be as interesting as the day dress. Can't you tell that underneath all that fierceness is a real goofball?

Grade: B+

Since ReeRee is injured, Vika gets to wear the dress that ReeRee would have worn. Nike seems not to care whether or not Vika wears the "night" dress during the day. Since she fainted in the middle of her second round match and had to be taken off in a wheel chair, one wonders whether she should have worn the day dress. The poor thing must be disappointed after having a great summer.

Grade: A-



It's a pity that we won't get to see the day dress on someone live.

Grade: A-

Good Nails was around for one set, crushing returns; and then Bad Nails showed up to spray balls in the last two sets of her first rounder. We won't get to see her functional kit long enough.

Grade: B

Adidas has taken a step up by allowing Ms. Fistpumps to use 4 colors: white, black, purple and pink.

Grade: B

Adidas steps out on a limb and puts Courage in purple. It actually works better on the ladies than their attempt to do so with Nando earlier this year.

Grade: B

Anta must think Lady JaJa secretly wants to wear an Adidas kit. It's a pity that it's been so hot and humid that she can't look glamorous sweating up a storm.

Grade: B

Vee continues to blur the line between a nightie and a tennis dress with her shiny black lace dress. At least she isn't flashing flesh-colored knickers.

Grade: B+

Vee goes unconventional with her day kit: it looks perfect for going to the beach. Just for creativity

Grade: A-

Sam's LaCoste whites are professional as the Hammer should be.

Grade: B+

The purple version of the same kit works even better. See how hard it is to tweak a design.

Grade: A-

Is Mum Train's Fila kit camouflauge? The diagonal stripes against the blue work.

Grade: A-

US Open 2010: They're Melting

With temperatures soaring into the 100s on the blue griddle that is the US Open hard courts (with humidity to boot), yesterday's first round action was a physical and mental test for many. Sure it ain't Pennsylvania, but trust me, the weather ain't that different here in New York.

In a total surprise, the Djoker passed the test due to the mercy of shade in the 5th set and actually outlasted his fellow countrymen Viktor

I won't comment on his on-court interview as others already have (here and here).

Nails had the match under her control after the 1st set, but couldn't adjust to KBond cleaning up her game. According to Virginia Wade who was commenting the match, Nails just brain farted and couldn't back away brainless ball bashing. Even a hacker like me knows that the ball will fly in hot and humid conditions, and that you have to play patient tennis in those conditions. I hate you Nails; you were supposed to make the semis to take out Caro.



Bags shouldn't have played New Haven despite his promise to return them a favor.



Lady JaJa survived and didn't look all glittery against Breast Reduction Gal.



The Force is with young Gulbis but he is not a Jedi yet.

Benneteau evoked Sampras, splling his guts in the midst of the match but closed it out to beat the Sex.

Toronto and Cincy 2010: Let the Games Begin

Even though the US Open series has already started (Washington DC, San Diego, Atlanta, Stanford, LA), most of the top 10 don't start to play until the more important Masters/Premier tourneys begin (and extend their summer vacations). Now shit gets real. The men have a Masters 1000 in Canada; the ladies play in Cincy. Looking back a year, what a difference a year makes?

Toronto

Delpo won't be around to defend his points from making the finals last year due to a wrist injury. Muzz hasn't won a tournament this year (after winning 6 last year), and failed to convert championship points against Samurai in LA. While Muzz has parted ways with his coach in hopes of improving so that he can start winning slams, it's not exactly clear what he wants to change. Does he want to improve at chasing balls? What about a forehand with more punch? It's not exactly clear whether he can defend his title here?

Recall that Fed had Tsonga on the ropes last year but failed to close it out in an epic collapse. While Anacone will be in Fed's coach box this week, it remains to be seen whether Fed can pull out of his slump. If pattern holds, Fed won't be in match shape until next week in Cinncinati. Or we might be surprised to see Anacone make Fed try different patterns to take control of points.

Rafa has had a stellar clay/grass season, and is hungry to win the US Open to complete a career slam. And this year he's managing his schedule to rest his knees to peak at the US Open. If I recall correctly, he's planning to skip one of the Master's 1000s (i.e. Cincinnati) to give himself more rest for his knees. Even with a less strenuous schedule, Rafa's heavy topspin strokes and preference for sliding won't be quite the advantage he's accustomed to on fast hard courts like Deco Turf (see here for the difference a hard court can make). Then again, he did make the semis of Indian Wells and Miami. So it would be no surprise of Rafa continued his domination of the tour.

Tourney Site: here

Draw: here

Seeds: Rafa, Fed, Nole, Muzz, Playstation, Sod, ARod, Nando

Injuries: Delpo (wrist), Ali (knee), Dr. Ivo (ankle), Gonzo (calf), Rusty (calf)

Oh, by the way, this odd couple is playing doubles.

Cincinnati

With the WTA, you never know who will come out on top on a given week. Dinara is coming back from back injury and is lucky to win consecutive matches these days. I'll go out on a limb and bet that she won't be in the final. Lady JaJa rolled her ankle back in Portoroz, Slovenia and claimed (again) that it hobbled her last week against Kleybs. Caro was at one point in the year the world #2 but frankly hasn't shown that she can be a consistent Slam contender because of her weaker forehand (and yes I count her movement as a weapon). While Sam has a heavy serve and forehand, her movement is bit suspect on faster hard courts where she can't hit a lot of runaround forehands. Franny has a high seed due to her magical (and career-climaxing) win at Roland Garros, but this may not be relevant to predicting her playing well this week in Cincy. Finally, Bepa is coming off an excellent run to the finals in SW19, where she had the misfortune of playing Serena en fuego. It will be fun to see which Bepa will show up: the racket smasher or the steady smart counterpuncher. Likewise with Nails we get a Heckyll-Jyde schtick. She can either be the cleanest ball striker you've ever see, painting the lines, or nail the ball into the alleys.

Tourney Site: here

Draw: here

Seeds: Lady JaJa, Caro, LenaD, Mum Train, Franny, Bepa, Nails

Injuries: Vee (knee), ReeRee (foot), Allez Bitch (elbow), Sam (arm)

Wimbledon 2010: Manic Monday

One of the consequences of Wimbledon taking the middle Sunday off is that all the 4th round matches took place on Monday, which makes for lots of great tennis.

The Greatest Forehand Shanker was kidnapped by aliens and replaced by TMF who returned beautifully and put on practice match against Melzer (63 62 63)

Belgian text-buddies promised to meet each other for the biggest exho since BJK beat Bobby Riggs in the Battle of the Sexes. Mum Train's chance of winning a Wimbly before she has another kid were kept alive and JuJu has another year to work on her serve (26 62 63).

Ears were split at Centre Court by Shrieka and ReeRee. Unfortunately for fans of rose petal dresses, Shrieka double faulted in the tie breaker to set up set point to gift the match to ReeRee (76 [9] 64).

Vee her sister also hung in there to win a tight straight setter over Groth (64 76[5]).

The Djoker overcame an "illness" to do his Incredible Hulk impression to overcome Rusty (75 64 36 64)

ARod played not to lose and lost to Asia's best tennis player, Rendy Lu (46 76[3] 76[4] 67[5] 97). Oh, BTW, his interview is a gem where he takes stupid media questions apart.

Nails kept enough balls in play to hit Aggie off the court (63 62).

So did Petra Kvitova to Aggie's best friend, Caro, who really needs to learn to win matches without on court coaching (62 60).

Lady JaJa had to retire with a lower back injury against Bepa (61 30).

In other news,

• Rafa steamrolled Mathieu (64 62 62)


• Sod hung in there against Ferru (62 57 62 36 75)


• Ali danced after triumphing over Benneteau his compatriot (61 46 63 61)


• Samurai couldn't hit through Muzz (75 63 64)


• Big Berd triumphed over Brand (46 76[1] 75 63)
  
• The Hamster lost to Pironkova (64 64)


• Kanepri cruised over Zakopalova (62 64)

Birmingham, Halle and Queen's Champions 2010

In the battle of the ball bashers, Nails triumphed over Shrieka (7-5 6-1) to take home her third WTA trophy of her career. The Chinese tennis star earns a spot in the top ten again after a solid clay court season. Last year she beat Maria in the semis but lost in the finals to Magdalena Rybarikova.

Last year I made the mistake of being so happy when I beat Maria I forgot I had another match. And now I’m so excited if I had another match I’d probably lose that too.

Reminder to Nails: you are playing a tournament tomorrow in Eastbourne.

The Greatest Shanker of All Time fulfilled the first of his appearance obligations for the rest of his career in Halle and ended his win streak of 15 to Rusty (3-6, 7-6 [4],
6-4)

In the last several years, Fed's record on grass is 76-2 with his only other loss being the epic classic match against Rafa in 2008. But it's no exaggeration that with losses in the Spring to Bags, Big Berd, Gulby, Montanes, Sod and Rusty, Fed's confidence is not where it should be going into Wimbly.

Samurai owes Fish dinner, triumphing at Queen's (7-6 [3] 7-5). He becomes the first ATP pro to win on three surfaces in 2010. He's won tourneys on hard (Memphis) and on clay (Belgrade).

Roland Garros 2010: Mr. Clean Dances

Mr. Clean hit the shot of the day to bring up match point, in response to an approach shot that Fish just murdered. I wish I could show a video but you know how it is during Slams. Here's what Tigs had to say:

Ljubicic hits his backhand with such a closed face and a flat swing path that you can’t believe the ball can get over the net and down into the court consistently. It does. Ljubicic walks with deliberation between points. He looks a little stiff. But he’s flexible enough to hit a deft backhand crosscourt pass [block] to set up match point. Fish is crushed. Ljubicic breaks into a swivel-hip dance. He looks like he’s rolling an invisible hula-hoop around his waist. He walks to the baseline and ends this two-day epic with an ace. It’s the highlight of the first week so far.

Kudos to Mr. Clean to win 6-2 6-7 (8) 4-6 6-2 10-8.

In other news, Nails capitulated to Franny 4 and 2. Le Sad.



Demmy clawed her way to victory over CanWoz after taking the path of most resistance (6-7 [2] 6-3 6-4).



Unsurprisingly, MaKiri took out Sveta (6-3 2-6 6-4) for the second time in a month (she beat Sveta in Madrid). Sveta will sink to a #18 in the rankings after Roland Garros. The Roland Garros curse is official.